Today was a very painful day in therapy. We talked about my Mom and how much different she was than me. We talked about how she would abandoned us for months at a time and leave us with my Grandmother. We talked about how she allowed my step dad to molests my sister and I myself. The abuse really causes me to have trust issues after all these years.
We talked about how I show signs of self hatred and how difficult it is for me to think that anyone could really like me. We talked about how losing Chris shattered my brief that being "good" was rewarded in life. We talked a little about God. Her views are totally different than mine, but that's OK. We talked about how bad things can happen regardless of whether you are a good person or not. I got her e-mail address to contact her if I need her between session. I can not believe I got the nerve to ask for it, but I did it.
Painful as it was I think we made some head way on me accepting myself as a lovable person.
We talked about how I show signs of self hatred and how difficult it is for me to think that anyone could really like me. We talked about how losing Chris shattered my brief that being "good" was rewarded in life. We talked a little about God. Her views are totally different than mine, but that's OK. We talked about how bad things can happen regardless of whether you are a good person or not. I got her e-mail address to contact her if I need her between session. I can not believe I got the nerve to ask for it, but I did it.
6 comments:
As painful as it was, it sounds like you talked about stuff that needed to be talked about, and that's good. And if you're on the way to accepting yourself as a lovable person (you SO are!!!) like you said, then that's awesome!
I am learning the only way through is through the pain dear one. I am sorry you are going through this, but at the same time know it is for your good. Blessings.
Sometimes I find that the most painful therapy sessions are the most productive therapy sessions. And it sounds like it's like that for you.
Good for you for getting your therapist's email. I'm glad you'll have someone "in real life" to reach out to when you need the extra help.
Wishing you well,
NOS
It might not be easy but what matters is that you tried....to take that step toward recovery...May the Lord bless you and keep you sister...How are the knees? Hope all is well.
Yes, Therapy is painful!
But so necessary to get the junk out of our head...so push yourself through it. I can say that because after you sharing your experiences, I've had the same-only it was my father who left us for months at a time until my parents divorce and because my mom had 5 kids she left us with Grandma and Grandpa quite frequently because she couldn't handle everything. My step father and brother molested me and yes, trust is an issue and will always be an issue. However, I have built a circle around me that is strong and supportive and I know they are in my corner...you'll grow your own circle as you travel your path!
I'm so glad you got your therpist's e-mail, now USE it!! even if it's just to spew your thoughts and ramble...
It really sounds like you worked through a lot during your session. That is great that your therapist gave you her e-mail. You are a very lovable person:)
Post a Comment