Touch and loving is something we all need. If we have been physically or sexually abuse as a child we don't know how to respond to touch. We don't know how to give love in this way. Our whole being cries out for it, but we are afraid of it. Trust is damaged. It can even effect our trust in a God who loves and cares for us. Each time we reach out there is fear. Will we be hurt again? I'm not "good enough" to deserve love of any kind. Damaged. I have noticed when someone wants to hug me I pull away. It is fear. Fear of being hurt again. We make it hard for people to get close. I know I'm working on this. I don't want to be afraid anymore. I want to be able to feel kindness and goodness. I want to know that I am OK.
8 comments:
I can relate to feeling uncomfortable with being touched. Especially by my parents-- when they try to kiss me or show any physical affection I cringe.
(((Wanda)))
Wishing you well,
NOS
I believe that touch is a healing thing. If it has been perverted by sick people it is a sin. All I know to do is ask God to help. He will.
PG
Understanding Wanda, understanding....
Wrong love when shown is just completely opposite of how God's love is...Can't imagine the pain...God bless.
Glad I found your blog, yes touch is very important.
kim
Hi Wanda, There are no coincendences here among us bloggy sisters and brothers. God sends the ones he knows we need in our lives or the ones who need us and in yours and my case,...we surely need each other. I will be back to read about your precious son when I can spend some time with you. Thank you for commenting and reaching out. As you know we have become members of a club we never thought we'd enter in........the mother's of children in heaven. If you did not go by my son Buddy's blog, I invite you to visit him too. You can find his link on my sidebar. He is trying to walk through his grief but is crawling inch by inch as he has been so severly depressed as your daughter. God Bless you and your daughter and your entire family who are left with heartache over your son. Love, Mollye
I can completely understand how you are feeling here. It's not an easy path in trusting and you are right....it can and does affect one's faith/trust in God as well. I really struggle in that area, to be honest.
Hang in there. You will find your balance with hugs, etc. It takes time.
Let God hold you sweet friend.
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