Long Term Effects Of Childhood Sexual Abuse

May be triggering!

"The effects of child sexual abuse include depression,^[5] post-traumatic stress disorder,^[6] anxiety,^[7] propensity to further victimization in adulthood,^[8] and physical injury to the child, among other problems.^[9] Sexual abuse by a family member is a form of incest, and can result in more serious and long-term psychological trauma, especially in the case of parental incest.[1"

Sometimes I wonder why I can not get over the sexual abuse I experienced as a child. I was molested at home from the ages of 4-16. It still seem to effect my thinking on a daily bases. I was also re-victimized several times  as an adult. I sometimes wonder why I am on this earth. I read blogs of healing but I still seem stuck in the healing process. I still blame myself for what happened.  I constantly think of self harm. Without really trying to change how I think my mind immediately goes to the negative thinking. Above are some links that are helpful understanding myself. Deep down I know I am a good person, but the negative loop in my brain makes me feel useless.