Friday, August 31, 2012

Emotional Roller Coaster

I  have been on an emotional roller coaster since Alice's injury. Sometimes I feel hopeful and sometimes I feel despair. No real change today. Did learn she is not stable enough for one inpatient rehab center. I am not sure what the implications of that will be. Part of my problem is I am there 24/7 except for a quick trip home to feed the cats. I am so tired but want to be there for her. The nurses have been great but there are things that I still help her with. Keep remembering us. She needs a lot of encoragemet. She can be reached at her blog at

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Urgent Prayer Request

I have been off line because of what has happened to Alice. She had a bad fall and was paralyzed from her hips down. She has ASAP surgery to relieve the pressure on the nerves. As of this AM she can wiggle her toes but is still unable to move her legs. The neurosurgeon says he is unable to tell at this point if she will be able to walk again. Please pray that God will enable her to walk again.  

Monday, August 27, 2012


I am kind of wired up today. I saw my psychiatrist today and he told me I was a "brittle bi polar". He says my moods frequently had rapid and dramatic changes. That was no surprise. He said he didn't want to change any medicine today, but he wanted to see me again in two weeks. I really like my psychiatrist but wish I didn't have to see him so often.

Tomorrow I see the surgeon about my thyroid. I will be glad to get this over. I am so nervous about this appointment. I am just ready to get whatever needs to be done, done. It's crazy how nervous I am about what he will tell me. I guess I just need to do some deep breathing.

Sometimes I feel I  have enough doctors to start a clinic. I guess I am thankful they are there when I need them.  Medical expenses are such a big part of my monthly income. I worry about the continuing rise of medical cost.

Sunday, August 26, 2012

A Few Days Break

My good friend YH ,on the spur of the moment, asked me if I wanted to go on a little trip. We spent a couple of days at a little motel called Happy Days. It was a theme motel and we stayed in Elvis' room. It was really cute. They had a little 50's dinner that had some wonderful hamburgers and fries. We ate too much! We visit some quilting shops and sight seeing.  We really had a good time and it did not cost too much money. It sure is fun just spending time with an old friend.

Monday, August 20, 2012

Life Changes

 My Brother and I
There are times that something changes everything in your life from that point on. We all have stresses either good or bad on a daily bases. These events can happen at anytime in one's life. There are things that we stress over that have little long term effect on us. Usually the number of significant events are not that many in a life time. What do you think your top 7 events are? Mine are listed below.
  1.  Child abuse 
  2. Rape
  3. Marriage
  4. Birth of my children
  5. Divorce 
  6. Health issues (mental and physical)
  7. Death of my Son

The most life changing event in my life was when I met Jesus.

Saturday, August 18, 2012


I am in so much pain today I can barely walk. I was hoping to go to church tomorrow but if I am not better I don't think I can make it. With chronic pain you get used to a certain level of pain but sometimes it can become  unbearable. I know I don't take anywhere near the number of pain pills that my doctor allows but you hear about so many people getting hooked on prescription drug that it pays to be cautious. Sometimes I feel so weak. I feel like I should be stronger. People tell me all the time I'm too hard on myself. Maybe I should listen.

Absolutely nothing is on TV at 3 AM. These late night of not being able to sleep are rough but I don't know what to do about it. I know I'm going to be exhausted tomorrow.   UGH!

Thursday, August 16, 2012


Today was a pretty nice day. Alice and I spent the entire day together. First we went shopping then had lunch. After lunch we went shopping again. I found some excellent deals which always make shopping more fun. When we got home we watched a DVD together. It was the perfect end to the day.
 It finally rained which I am hoping will cool us off. Today it was 101 again. They are saying we might get a cool front coming through with the rain which should drop the temperatures to the mid 80's. It has been such a hot summer I am ready for fall.

 I have been a bit manic for the past three days. I am sleeping very little and am so hyper.  I am also wanting to spend money. NOT GOOD! Right now my body is so screwed up I don't know which end is up. I have really been in a lot of pain today.

Monday, August 13, 2012

Need Someone To Talk To

There are times in our life that we just need someone to talk to. Our minds can be so filled with conflict and emotions that we must just get it out. I have felt at times the pain was too ugly to share with my friends. I was afraid to let out the emotions. I believe those that do have that "somebody" to talk to 24/7 have a true blessing. It seems to me late at night is the time I need to talk the most.

Now I am so filled with emotions and pain I just want to talk with somebody. It is just too late to bother anyone. Everyone is asleep or with their own family. Writing seems to help some. You get the emotions out but you don't have that feed back. I really have missed this in my life. The funny thing is I writing now without letting out the emotional details of the pain I am feeling. How can sharing be so hard for me when I find it so easy to listen with empathy? 

We were made to share our emotions and feelings with others. We all have happy times, sad times, painful times, that need to be shared. Let's remember with all the technology to use everything that is available to really communicate to those you love and care about. 

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Let Your Light Shine

Sometimes it doesn't feel like I have a lot to offer, but if each day I can just let a little light shine in someone's life then that is a good thing. We never know what those around us are going through. A smile is something we all can give. It can lift up that person whose load just maybe too hard to bear. Saying thank you  to the person at the check out counter. We have a light, a love inside to show. 

Wednesday, August 08, 2012

Always Good To See A Friend

It's always wonderful to see a good friend. My very dear friend Randy was in town today and took me out to lunch to celebrate my Birthday. I don't get to see him very often since they move out of town. It was good to get caught up what was going on in life and seeing what his family has been doing. Seeing someone is person is so much better than just talking on the phone or emails. Don't get me wrong I love using modern social media to keep in touch but there is nothing like a person to person meeting. There is nothing that can replace an old fashion hug.

I just feel so blessed with all my on line friends. I have met so many beautiful people. Sharing is so healing. Because of my past I had a real fear of trusting people but as I have gotten older I have come to realize how much we need each other.

Tuesday, August 07, 2012

Birthday Fun

It was 33 years ago on my Birthday that I got the best Birthday present ever! I had my first child, Alice and I couldn't have been happier. It has always been so special to spend your Birthday with your first born child. Today we spent the day together just having fun. We were going to paint pottery together but couldn't find anything we liked so we went to the casino. It was Alice's first time. We got to play for quite some time without spending a lot of money. We were playing the penny machines. Alice got one bonus for $8.00 and I got one for $21.00. No we weren't hitting the "big ones" but we had fun. To finish the day we had a nice shrimp dinner. All in all we had a very nice Birthday. We still have Birthday cake for later!

Thursday, August 02, 2012

A Thankful Heart

I was so impressed not only what Gabby accomplished but her thankful heart. "The praises go up and His blessing come down." What an impressive young women!

Wednesday, August 01, 2012

It's Too Hot!

Boy are we ever in a heat wave.  Not only is it hot but we are in  drought. Everything is dying: no grass and the crops are just dying.  Today it's been up to 113 degrees! We are in an excessive heat warning for the past several days. I believe we have been over 100 degrees for 23 days so far this summer. I am just so thankful for A/C. It's hotter here than in death valley.

Below are a couple of ways to cool off.